The humor columnist, then you bein' knowin' that this here day is Talk like a Pirate Day!

You must talk like a Pirate and act like a pirate and if Jack Sparrow be to your likin' then talk like the scurvy scum bag!

Today the rental management  be stoppin by to check for damage to me quarters after the last storm. Which I think it's a bunch of lies. The storm didn't affect us the ill bred varmits. Checkin' stuff that doesn't matter they said, ARRRRRR I be sleeping when they come, and if they set off the smoke alarms while I beest sleepin' They be walking the plank to Davy Jones' Locker over the Marianna trench with the starboard Anchor around their scurvy necks!